The XD Report
EDK Orders
Explosive Diarrhea Kit — Everything You Need to Survive an Active Outbreak
🚨 DTAF (Don't Trust A Fart) Advisory Active · Shipping to affected states may be delayed due to unprecedented demand
Orders placed now ship within 2-3 business days. Expedited shipping available for EXPLOSIVE states.
Premium Toilet Paper (24-Roll Mega Pack)
When every square counts. 2-ply, septic-safe, 4x stronger when wet. The official toilet paper of the XD Report.
Pepto-Bismol (12oz Family Size)
The pink stuff. Coats, soothes, and relieves. For when you need to put out the fire.
Pedialyte AdvancedCare Plus (4-Pack)
Electrolyte replacement with 3x the electrolytes of sports drinks. Dehydration is the real enemy.
Flushable Wet Wipes (6-Pack)
Your butt will thank you after the 14th trip to the bathroom. Actually septic-safe.
Portable Bidet Bottle
Portable personal hygiene. Fill with warm water. Portable relief for when you're between bathrooms.
Disposable Seat Covers (50-Pack)
For public restrooms in outbreak zones. Trust no seat.
Imodium Multi-Symptom Relief (24ct)
For non-infectious diarrhea. Note: Do NOT use for Cyclospora — you need the parasite OUT. Consult your doctor.
Adult Incontinence Underwear (20-Pack)
When trust is low and the bathroom is far. Discreet protection for DTAF (Don't Trust A Fart) states. No one will know. You will know.
Each item above links to a search on Instacart so you can order it delivered from a store near you. Availability varies by location.